I FELL IN LOVE WITH A BLACK OCEAN DEEP

 

The sun strikes hard but never reaches your depths,

It leaves me still feeling cold.

And I must of known you for a million years,

I fell in love with your reflection gold.

 

It’s been you and me for a very long time,

One and one, never needing a crew.

You are my friend and you are my love,

I fell in love with your waters so blue.

 

I’ve devoted my time and devoted my life,

All your secrets I have seen.

My eyes have stared deep into your soul,

And I fell in love with your soul so green.

 

I watch in awe as the sun sinks down,

And I glimpse the top of his burning head.

I helplessly watch his flailing arms of gold,

Drown in your love so red.

 

Sometimes my eyes cannot see through the mist,

But I can still feel your movement and sway.

When the rain falls down and the mist rises up,

I fall in love with your sight so grey.

 

You’ve made me feel young, yet grow very old,

Through your current my life seemed to seep.

I’ve given you my life and I will give you my death,

For I fell in love with you - my black ocean deep.

 

by Kerrie Warren

 

 

SUDDENLY THE WORLD IS SILENT

 

 

 

I’m soaring on a cloud….

Speeding through the sky….

The force behind me is extraordinary….

Causing my soul to fly….

Below me, from where I’ve come,

Underneath the cloud of doom.

Is where the mourning, the weeping and the dying lay,

All vulnerable to the hell that looms.

I can still hear the gunfire, it continues,

Never stopping day or night.

I can still hear the people crying,

Children screaming in their fright.

Although the animals bolt in panic,

And the trees no longer stand.

The bombs still keep on dropping,

And war goes on as planned.

The people die in thousands,

There is nowhere left to hide.

The stench of death is everywhere,

Over lands and oceans wide.

Suddenly, the world is silent,

There are only two people left to fight.

And both leaders that argued a short while back,

Are now in the midst of an ugly sight.

Each stared mutely at the other,

Surrounded by the dying and the dead.

Neither would accept responsibility,

The both committed suicide instead.

by Kerrie Warren

 

 

 

 

IN THIS MOMENT

 

 

What will I do in this moment?

Is there any way I can ease the pain?

I could turn to the bottle and numb all my thoughts,

Drown the memories in my brain.

What will I do in this moment?

Should I curse and rant and rave?

I could drive my fists deep into the wall,

Dive into the angry wave.

What will I do in this moment?

If I run fast and far away,

Could I possibly outrun this moment?

Or would it chase me all the way?

What will I do in this moment?

Will your ears listen to my pain?

Will your shoulders soak up all my tears?

Will your understanding keep me sane?

What will I do in this moment?

Should I take myself out to sea?

I could jump deep into the salty water,

Do you think that death would set me free?

What can I do in this moment?

To delete it, to block it out?

How can I wipe it from all existence?

And leave no trace of doubt?

What can I do in this moment?

To ease this emotional rage,

Will it die and become past history,

As I write it down upon this page?

What will I do in this moment?

How must I lay it to rest?

How can I survive in this moment,

Just long enough to get to the next?

by Kerrie Warren

 

 

 

 

WILL GOD EVER FORGIVE US?

 

 

 

The pain stretches further than my eyes can see,

More tears than they can hold.

The scenery - a battlefield,

The sun shines but the Earth stays cold.

Will God ever forgive us?

What have we done to his precious children?

Where were our minds, where were our hearts?

When we tortured, maimed and killed them?

What must God think of our graphical art?

Of Earth, now painted with colours so grim?

How must He feel when all He can see,

Are the bloody bodies sprawled beneath Him?

One over here, one over there,

And a billion in between.

Nothing moves but an orphaned child,

Wandering in a dream.

My feet squelch on clotting blood,

I’m covered in guts and grime.

I keep on walking but there’s never an end,

To the expressions lost in time.

My eardrums pound to the unbearable sound,

Even louder than the violence.

I cover my ears with blood stained hands,

But I can’t keep out the silence.

In agony and in pain I crawl,

Through the ever growing mist.

And my heart is tearing dear Lord above,

In knowing ‘I’ still exist.

by Kerrie Warren

 

 

 

 

CAN YOU SEE ME?

 

 

 

Can you see me? Here I am,

My soul completely bared.

My strength has thrown me to the floor,

And left me feeling scared.

Please turn off the light, or close your eyes,

Even better - turn away.

Let me lie here with nerves exposed,

I can’t explain, I cannot say.

I can’t relieve your frightened look,

Nor reply to your kind words.

I cannot see the silver lining,

And no longer hear the birds.

I strain my ears to hear any sound,

Over the pounding of my heart.

Which beats away, deep inside,

Tearing me apart.

I rage inside like a wounded bull,

Trapped within this being.

Trapped within this paralyzed body,

That has lost all sense of feeling.

Can you see me? Here I am,

Turn away and lock the door.

Leave me be in my naked state,

Alone here on the floor.

Can you see me? There I go,

The raging bull was just set free.

Can you see me, where I am?

Here I am - Oh can’t you see?

by Kerrie Warren

 

 

 

MY VALENTINE

 

 

If the world’s a stage,

Will you play Romeo?

Can I play Juliet?

In fixed motion,

Forever entwined,

Passion as hot as a red sunset.

I breathe you in,

I breathe you deep,

And chills run up my spine.

I smell your body,

I eat your flesh,

Drink your blood as sweet as wine.

The tide rolls in,

The tide rolls out,

The stars will always shine.

My blood will boil,

My heart will melt,

With eternal love,

My Valentine.

by Kerrie Warren

  

 

 

ON THE ROCKS BELOW

 

 

Moonlight shines through a sinking heart,

Revealing all that was torn apart.

In the spotlight lay vulnerable every part,

In the gentle glow almost a piece of art.

Suddenly unable to see, hear or speak,

The false strength it once clung to now leaves it weak.

All alone in a world unreal,

A throbbing mess that can only feel.

Pounding irregularly, loosing all will,

Only yesterday determined to climb life’s hill.                

Laughing selfishly, almost reaching the top,

Falling over itself as it made the drop.

Now looking back on what it had seen and ignored,

After falling and landing on its own blood stained sword.

Never before caring or wanting to know,

Now all alone on the rocks below.

So very alone on the sharp rocks below.

by Kerrie Warren

 

 

 

SWALLOWED BY A CLOUD

 

Just leave me in my shadowed corner,

Please leave me here to die.

I’ll scream if you reach to touch me,

Or with pity begin to cry.

I can no longer control my strickened body,

Beads of sweat drop to the floor.

My arms encircle my shaking legs,

My eyes feel dry and raw.

You’re slowly backing away from me,

You’re merging into the wall.

I didn’t mean for you to disappear,

And leave me alone to fall.

A cloud is beginning to swallow me up,

I haven’t the strength to fight.

I will let my soul slowly disintegrate,

Let my day turn into night.

I want my body to fall to the ground,

I want my mind to lapse.

I was scared of the person I used to be,

I can now watch that person collapse.

Goodbye, I can no longer see you,

I keep drifting further away.

From this height I can make out the boundaries,

Of the land where eternity lays.

My arms and legs are tingling,

There are strange noises in my head.

The blood has ceased running through my veins,

Dear God, please make me dead.

by Kerrie Warren

 

 

 

THIS OLD MAN

 

My Lord I’m but an old, old man,

My weary bones show through my flesh.

And although I’m not too old to learn,

I’m much too old to start afresh.

Dear God, my past I know was dreadful,

Compassion, I had none.

And what I’d give dear Lord above,

To make up for all I’ve done.

To change my past of hurting others,

Give to them, what they tried to give me.

Show them that I cared and loved them,

More than I would ever let them see.

Father, I’m not asking for your forgiveness,

For the lessons I’ve only just learnt.

Nor am I asking for you to understand me,

I know your understanding I have not earnt.

But please my Lord, please help me,

I’m scared of the memories that make me cry.

Please dear God, please love me,

For this old man, all alone, shall die.

Amen.

by Kerrie Warren

 

 

 

 

ALL ALONE

 

Alone, alone, lost in time,

Somewhere lost in nothing.

So cold, so cold, my head is numb.

No longer am I something.

I was dropped from such a high, high cloud,

Up there, somewhere, somewhere.

I fell, and fell, and no one caught me,

No one saw me, ever, nowhere.

I cannot bleed, I cannot cry,

There is no one, no one, no one.

I have looked and looked and searched my life,

For anyone, anyone, someone.

I reach and reach and stretch my mind,

Stretching so hard I tear.

For I’ve screamed and screamed in this silent world,

And no one else is there!

by Kerrie Warren

 

 

 

IN AMAZEMENT I STARE AT THE VIEW

 

Not so long ago, I was in a rut,

Trying desperately to claw my way out.

No-one responded to my pitiful calls,

No matter how loud I’d shout.

In the rank darkness that became my life,

Was no other direction for me to move.

But the long, long tunnel that went straight up,

The end only a pinpoint groove.

My prison walls were slimy muck,                                      

The atmosphere was rotten.

And echoing still, a self destructive crash,

As my attitude hit rock bottom.

Open wounds refused to heal,

And through them flowed all hope.

My thoughts became an anxious mess,

My heart screamed - it couldn’t cope!

My blood pressure rose as the tunnel grew longer,

Life seemed to drift further away.

Dark space grew heavier, smothering my body,

I was imprisoned in the dark of day.

Just as I balanced on the edge of life,

Something squirmed from under my palm.

In the slimy wall surrounding me,

Was an unperturbed creature, so silent and calm.

So tiny, yet I noticed a miracle,

As it dragged its way through the slime.

Existing on a positive attitude,

And surviving all the time.

I watched intently as it made its way,

Slowly up the tunnel wall.

Although taking two steps, then sliding back one,

It was making it after all!

As I witnessed this creature’s bold

triumph,                            

My eyes opened with sudden realization.

And from behind my black cloud I saw sunlight,

Now all I needed was some determination!

As my mind began slowly to open,

I found, so did the opening above!

And somehow I forced myself upwards,

With unceasing, determined shoves.

In no time at all I was warmed by the sun,

As it’s rays sprinkled over my face.

I will never forget what my attitude did,

And how it kept me in that pitiful place.

And now at the top - it’s like never before!

In amazement I stare at the view.

And I notice at my feet, a little creature -

Looking around in amazement too!

by Kerrie Warren.

 

 

 

A POEM FOR NELL

 

A family of four on a hot summer’s day,

Had to make a quick detour along the way.

They traveled a distance, so no-one would see,

To relieve themselves of a responsibility.

The door was slammed shut without a care in their

minds,

And without looking back, they left her behind.

Their faithful dog excited on leaving her abode,

Was left lost and bewildered on the side of the road.

The family she knew drove away down the track,

And panic-stricken she followed, tried to make her way

back.

 The odd passerby would curse at the stray,

While others threw stones to shoo her away.

Abandoned, she wandered while the family had fun,

With God up above to witness all that was done.

Left to die of a life on the run,

On Christmas Day, in the heat of the sun.

by Kerrie Warren.

 

 

 

ON THE DARK SIDE

 

It’s me again God, can you hear me?

I’m the one living days of endless nights.

The one that lives on the dark side,

With a fear of endless frights.

And I know the world is turning,

But there’s something wrong with mine.

For I’m living in endless darkness,

With a sun that doesn’t shine.

Please, I cry out to you my Father,

I cry out to you in pain.

For along this road I’ve lost myself,

And I can’t find myself again.

Without your light I cannot see,

Without my sight I’m lost.

I’m wandering around on the dark side,

Crossing paths I’ve already crossed.

Nothing ever moves on the dark side,

Nothing ever seems to change.

Evolution isn’t heard of,

Yet the stillness is terribly strange.

If you called out to me Lord, I might hear you,

My hearing I hope I can trust.

But I’m afraid my dear Lord I can’t see you,

In this darkness my eyes can’t adjust.

I’m so scared of being me Lord,

I know it’s a fault all my own.

I’m so scared of the memories I re-live Lord,

Of the realization of why I’m alone.

Father, I pray for you to make contact,

To be my saviour guide.

I pray so hard that you’ll find me,

I’m lost, somewhere, on the dark side!!!!

by Kerrie Warren.

 

 

DEAR BROTHER

 

Dear brother, don’t give up now,

I know you’re feeling tired and blue.

Please don’t throw away your life,

By living in what you’ve just been through.

Here, take my hand and hold on tight,

I’ll try to ease your pain.

But whatever you do, don’t look down,

It’s so easy to fall again.

Life is but a gently slope,

One we all must climb.

Can’t you see by turning back,

You’re wasting precious time?

Don’t be fooled by other paths,

They’ll lead your soul astray.

Roundabouts may confuse our minds,

As we pass through them day by day.

Don’t worry too much when you’re in a mist,

And loose sight of the path ahead.

Just be patient, sit and wait awhile,

Let it rise and you’ll safely tread.

My friend, I hate to see you weep,

Let’s brush those tears away.

Let me kiss that saddened smile,

And help you find your way.

Dear friend, we can learn together,

Together we will plod.

If we hold hands we’ll find the strength,

To climb up and meet our God.

by Kerrie Warren.

 

 

DRIFTING AWAY

 

Ever so quickly something changed,

It crept up silently, I never heard.

I wonder if anyone has noticed yet?

Nobody has said a word.

Please, come closer so that I can see you,

I’m afraid my sight has recently blurred.

And please speak up so that I can hear you,

I haven’t caught a word.

These are only a couple of symptoms,

I don’t think I’ll mention the others.

Oh how I wish you’d stop fidgeting about,

And would you please stop straightening my covers!

Why am I suddenly the main attraction?

Yet at the same time, completely ignored?

And why can’t I go home where I belong?

I’m so tired of being locked in this ward.

I’m afraid I don’t remember how I found my way here,

My mind is in a bit of a whirl.

And when I look in the mirror - an old woman looks

back,

But I’m just a little girl!

Here, look at my hands - they look so wrinkled,

And kind of like my Grandma’s,

Open this pendant and look at the picture,

Who is it? It’s not my Grandpa!

Maybe I’ve been asleep for one hundred years,

Maybe even more…..

For that would explain my paralyzed legs,

And why I feel so sore.

Could someone please go and fetch my Mother,

I feel so terribly afraid.

And so alone in this strange white room,

Where never a sound is made.

Please come closer so that I can see you,

No, I don’t recognize a single face.

But I’m sure there’s no need to look so concerned,

I’ll soon be out of this place.

Thank you all, for these wonderful gifts,

Why you brought them I don’t know.

Maybe you’re here to see someone else?

If you are, you’d better go…..

I’m feeling a little tired and drowsy,

So I think I’ll close my eyes.

My body seems to be a part of the bed,

Occasionally I  feel it rise.

Goodbye everyone.  I’m drifting away,

Maybe for one hundred years.

Though it feels so good I might not come back,

To my  aches and pains and fears.

Yes, that feels better - I don’t want to move,

My body no longer feels sore.

It’s strange how I can feel the smile on my face,

And I don’t have to breathe anymore.

by Kerrie Warren

 

 

THE OLD MAN AND HIS BEST FRIEND BLUE

 

The old man searched for God in the heavens above,

As he slowly rocked in his chair.

He laid back his head and he closed his eyes,

He tried to pretend he didn’t care.

But his old weathered face betrayed him,

It wrinkled up with his agony.

And his whole body buckled with his violent sobs,

That now shook him uncontrollably.

On his lap lay an old leather collar,

Now so soft and so easy to bend.

It held loyalty, faith, trust and love,

Old Blue had been the old man’s best friend.

With his work hardened hands he caressed it,

While his tears continued to fall.

And the memories tugged at his tired, saddened heart,

For to the old man, that dog meant all.

If only there had been someone to comfort him,

But no-one even knew.

And no-one was there when his body fell limp,

When he went off to go find his Blue.

by Kerrie Warren.

 

 

YOUR SEA OF WATER IS ONLY MY TEAR

 

I suppose I seem to be as tall as the trees,

Your mountain to me is a stone.

Your sea of water is only my tear,

Your thunder is only my groan.

My clumsy feet are your deadly enemy,

My shoe blocks out your sky.

Dear little creature, I wish I could shrink,

And look at you eye to eye.

You see the world from such a different angle,

But surely it couldn’t be worse than mine?

I wouldn’t suggest that you come up here,

You’d be frightened ‘all’ the time!

Do we humans make you laugh?

Or do we make you cry?

Maybe we just make you sick,

Maybe even die…….

Sunsets come and sunsets go,

But no one ever sees.

We live within our material world,

And barely see the trees.

We’re the creators of our own misery,

We’ve forgotten what its like to care.

And the very moment we remember how,

Is the moment we’ll see you down there!

by Kerrie Warren.

 

 

THE PAIN OF LIFE

The pain of life is hard to bare,

It leaves me feeling raw.

Words unable to express,

Why I feel so sore.

 

Through blurry colours spinning,

I see many human forms.

And if only they might understand,

My pain would be no more.

 

I’m drowning in the thickness,

Of hurting people, all around.

So many aching faces,

And bodies in the ground.

 

I feel I should be helping,

But I lay here like a sponge.

Absorbing pain and tragedy,

Alone in them I plunge.

 

I can feel you all around me,

Your uncomprehending stares.

No one takes the time,

No one really cares.

 

Does anyone really bother,

To stop and use their mind.

To step into another,

And accept what they might find?

 

So many aching bodies,

Can any of you see?

I have this feeling that you cannot,

And that is what is killing me!

 

 

 

I LOVE YOU

 

 

Did I ever mention just how much I love you,

And just how much I care?

Did I ever whisper loving words,

Or run my fingers through your hair?

Have I ever shown the need I felt,

To have you by my side?

Do I ever express my passionate feelings,

Or do I shy away and hide?

Well if I haven’t shown these things,

I will have to start.

For all these things are what I feel,

And overflowing in my heart.

I love you.

by Kerrie Warren